Wilderness Leadership Experiential Education & Backpacking as a Mother

Backpacking was my first true love.  I was seventeen the first time I learned to carry everything I need to survive on my back.  Making fire with a bow drill set, I carved by hand, felt like magic.  Learning to drink water from lakes, rivers, and puddles gave me a new appreciation for every element in life.  Traveling miles with only my body, free from distractions of modern society and all the unnecessary bullshit gives me true freedom.  I can find God everywhere in wilderness.  Even hiking through Arctic ridges with frozen rain pellets striking my face, when I feel like my hands are going to fall off, it all just makes finding that perfect campsite, or reaching a summit that much sweeter.

My babies will always come first.  But as I lay here cocooned in my deep winter sleeping bag, I can here the rhythms of wilderness, and fall in love all over again.  Heavy water droplets falling from yesterday's rain, wind blows through trees, and occasional chirps of native species make the sweetest music.  Nature has the perfect balance of movement and stillness; coexistence.  We are from Earth and humans need nature more than nature needs us.

I want this for my kids.  I want to give them the skills that our ancestors had at one time.  I want them to know that life is more than computers and cars and all these luxuries culture tells us to desire.  I hope to teach them the difference between wants and needs in a real life setting.  Society teaches us to use our bodies for power in such harmful ways, and we have become so ignorant of our unhealthy impacts towards others and this world as a whole.   I will show my children that our bodies ARE SO powerful!  But in ways this culture may never teach.

Leaving my babies overnight for the first time ever this weekend for a school backpacking trip was one of the hardest decisions I've ever made.  It had been seven years since I'd strapped on a backpack, and every molecule of my being yearned to get out again.  I took my breast pump with me to keep my supply up for my son.  I am having so many emotions through all of it.  This is what I've wanted to do with my life for over ten years, and I'm doing it!  But now I have a family that I have to leave behind while I sharpen my skills and gain the credentials.

I don't know what this means for my babies.  It breaks my heart to leave them for days over night.  But I had been dealing with some pretty heavy post partum blues and felt like I was dipping into a nearly empty cup.  Wilderness leadership fills my cup and I hope to share everything I can with my babies, and this world.  I want them to see what it means to follow their passions and stay committed.

I've come to realize a secret for life success is finding balance.  I will always seek the best for my children and can pray they stay safe and loved always.

I have some goals in mind when I finish this wilderness leadership & experiential education program and hope to enrich as many lives as possible, all while being the best mom I can be.  I hope to find balance along the way.